University for me is a struggle! But you never know what it feels like from the other side, so I asked my lovely boyfriend, who most of you know as the Double Glazing Blogger (@glazingblogger), to write me a guest post of his views of university from the other side. The other side being the ones back home that are hours away from university...
If you have an experience you would like to share from either the student side or the other side of university, please comment below, email me at sophiimaria@gmail.com or tweet me at @SophiiMaria :D
DoubleGlazingBlogger:
I’ve wondered all day today how
to start this post. The subject of this particular blog post is about
university and what it’s like for the other person while their loved one is
away there. I’ll just ramble on a bit and hope it all makes some coherent sense
as I’m writing it!
First a quick background catch
up. Me and Sophii met roughly six weeks before she went back to do her second
year at university in Aberystwyth. Before now I had known Soph on and off for
about 3 years. We had met at parties, and we’re part of the big group that went
to festivals. We never really talked that much. We met in August of this year
through me inviting her to a local gig (technically it was through her asking
if anyone had a Google+ invite she could have, I gave her one, and the
conversation naturally moved on to gigs!).
The next six weeks were some of
the best weeks I’d had in years. We always had the best fun when we were
together. She had done something which I thought wouldn’t happen in quite a
while - she showed me that there are some genuine, nice people left in the
world!
Saying goodbye to her as she left
to go back Uni was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. We’d
connected so strongly so quickly, I never appreciated how difficult it would
be, not being with her. Obviously I can see her at weekends and she can come
home at various points, but unlike other relationships, we don’t get to see
each other as much as we would like.
Relationships with university
involved are different to standard ones. University has a reputation of being a
promiscuous breeding ground, with people flitting about. For a person who is
having to say bye to someone leaving for uni, that is a huge thing to accept
and get used to. You have to put your utter trust and faith in that person to
do the right thing, even if the surrounding environment doesn’t make that easy.
Obviously that person at uni has to trust their partner at home too!
Then there are other issues. Money is one of the biggest.
Students struggle notoriously with money. Part time jobs barely cover their
living costs. Almost all of their loans go on student accommodation. Speaking
from the point of view as someone who works, has a steady job and is living
relatively comfortably, it’s gut wrenching to see my loved one struggle for
money. It’s frustrating having to see her buying the cheapest of cheap food,
having to budget literally by a single pound.
One of the biggest wrenches is having to face up to the fact
that you can’t be round him/her as much as you would like, looking out for
them, making sure all is well. You hope that the people they live with will
treat them with respect, help each other out, include them in whatever
activities might be going on, support them when they need help. But you also
hope that they respect your loved ones boundaries too. These are all things you
just have to trust will happen.
For me, the biggest frustration is not being able to help in
any physical way as I’m more than 3 ½ hours away. I’ll probably never be able
to get used to it, I just have to learn, and I am, how to deal with it better.
That’s the negative stuff out of the way!
The result of having a loved one at university is that when
you do see him/her, that time together is made so much more special and
important. Maybe one of the downsides to a normal relationship is that the
spark sometimes goes if you see that same person every day. Those at uni and
those who have a loved one there don’t get that luxury. But it does make you
appreciate the time spent together.
Some people may be sceptical of the amount of money and time
it takes out of your life to go and see someone if they’re at university far
away. But this depends on how you feel about that person. If you truly believe
that you have met someone special, and that he/she could be the one, then
driving nearly 4 hours and into another country is nothing to you. It’s nothing
to me. Personally I’d drive to the tip of Scotland to see her. If you believe
this, then university won’t cause a single issue.
I was worried about university and how it would affect the
relationship between me and Soph, especially after so many negative comments
from friends. But in all honesty, it has me us stronger. We trust each other completely;
we both appreciate the time we get to spend together. We talk on Twitter, Skype
etc. all the time which does also make things easier.
They key to a university relationship from my point of view
is trust and communication. Talking keeps fears at bay. Trust in each other
keeps you both relaxed and able to focus on your day ahead without tearing your
hair out. Look forward to your time together when you get to see each other. We
do, and we love each other all the more for it!
